The Rude Report
September 21, 2000Well, this is the first column I've written for GBHQ. But don't let that fool you, I'm one of the biggest Ghostheads you'll come across. I've seen Ghostbusters over 125 times. And the things that have happened recently concerning Ghostbusters 3 has really ticked me off. I'll be touching on that in this week's Rude Report. As well as my "Dream Cast" for the movie that's stuck in Developmental Hell. And much much more. So, strap in Skippy, its going to be a rough ride!
~ Okay, everyone has weighed in on the whole Ghostbusters 3 situation. Now its my turn. What is wrong with Columbia TriStar/Sony Pictures?! I mean, are they really that stupid? Or is this out of spite? If you just look at this from a sales point of view, GB3 would be a gold mine. You figure: gross ticket sales, MERCHANDISE (that alone would make millions and millions), finally a decent video game, its just mind boggling that they would pass this up. Just imagine a Ghostbusters movie with today's special effects. It would be incredible. I really do think the execs over at Columbia are retarded.
"Oh lets pass on Ghostbusters 3. Cause we don't want to make money. Instead lets give the green light on a romantic comedy starring Steve Gutenberg and Molly Ringwald, it will make us hundreds!"
Do they not know that the general public still loves Ghostbusters? Just look at EBAY. There are over 300 items on there. A year ago there weren't more than 100. And the prices on the stuff is astronomical. You turn on the television, Ghostbusters is on Comedy Central..well I wouldn't really brag about that, they play Weekend at Bernie's II every two hours on there. But they have been playing Ghostbusters on HBO and Cinemax. Open your eyes Columbia! WE WANT ANOTHER GHOSTBUSTERS MOVIE! And not some cinematic suppository starring "The next big thing". No more Freddie Prinze, Jr. movies. No more "Girl meets boy, girl falls in love w/ boy, girl thinks boy did something that he didn't do, he wins her back" movies. We want our boys in gray back!
~ Now that I have gotten that off my chest, I am now going to share with you, fellow Ghostheads, my pick for the new cast of Ghostbusters...and the winners are:
David Duchovney- Okay, I know he's a little old to be a "rookie" but come on. Wouldn't it be great to see Mulder strap on a proton pack?
Chris Rock- You need some comic relief, and he's the best out there right now
Sarah Michelle Gellar- In present day society, there would have to be a female Ghostbusters or every woman's rights group would wig out. And who better to bust some heads, than Buffy?
Ben Affleck- This is the pick that will probably get me the most heat. But I can't help it, I'm a fan. I loved him in "Dogma" and in "Good Will Hunting" Now sure, he's been in some bombs, but who hasn't? I just think he would be very good in a Venkman-esk role.
CLOSE RUNNERS UP:
Will Smith (he's my #1 choice, but we have to be realistic here) Jay and Silent Bob (if you don't know who they are, you should be ashamed of yourself)
And there you have it. I know almost all of you will disagree, but oh well, that's why they hire professionals to cast movies.
~ Believe it or not Ghostheads, there is another group of diehard fans out there that have it just as bad as we do, if not worse. And I'm talking about the "Back to the Future" fans. Have you been to the official site?(www.bttf.com) Its depressing. Back to the Future was supposed to be released on DVD 3 YEARS AGO! And its still being pushed back. At least Sony had the decency to give us that. Those poor fans don't even have that. They have to settle on watching them on VHS. But they do have two things we don't. They still have a ride at Universal, and they ARE getting a new movie. Maybe even two. So here is the question. Would you trade having to wait 3 more years for a re-release of GB and GBII for a new movie? I know, you probably thinking "What a stupid question" and I agree. That is a stupid question. The answer is of course "YES! YOU MORON!" So I take back what I said. Don't feel sorry for them. Despise them. Because they are getting more than we ever will. A new movie (possibly two), a ride a Universal (and a new one coming soon), all 3 of their movies in Special Edition format...its not fair. Oh look at me, I've started whining...just remember, if a BTTF fan ever sticks it in your face, just remind him this, what movie made more money? Which movie is being played on Pay Cable? That's what I thought. And then kick him..well, don't do that, unless you think you can get away with it.
TRIVIA QUESTION OF THE WEEK: What is the name of the magazine that has a cartoon picture of Venkman, Spengler, and Stantz during the first montage?
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: "No job is too big, no fee is too big"-Peter Venkman
~So there you have it boys and girls. The very first RUDE REPORT. I hope you enjoyed it. I'll see you right back here next week. If you have any comments or suggestions, email me at: BigD63026@aol.com
-Matt Rude