The Rude Report
January 28, 2001Hey boys and girls, guess who! That's right, its your party host extrodinare. I've taken about two months off to do..well, absolutely nothing, but I'm back. Please please, calm down. We've got a lot of ground to cover, and oh so many people to offend. So lets get to it. Please ignore the mess, I gave the cleaning lady the decade off.
Can somebody explain to me why in the crap they are going to be making Caddyshack restaurants? Have they not raped the corpse of that movie enough as it is? If you saying to yourself, "My god, what are you talking about? Caddyshack is the greatest sports movie of all time!" Well, you're right and you're wrong. Caddyshack is a classic. There is no denying that. BUT...two words. Caddyshack II. That film destroyed any respect I had for the first movie. I mean, they couldn't get Bill Murray back, Dangerfield stayed away from it..only Chevy Chase was stupid enough to stay around. And that doesn't really give the film any respectability. I mean, did you see Cops and Robersons? Enough Said. The movie sucked. Plain and simple. The only good thing about that whole movie was Dan Aykroyd. And yet again, that doesn't say a whole lot. Ray's career has certainly been on a downward spiral for the past ten years. Sure, he had a hit here or there. Grosse Pointe Blank(kick ass movie), uh...I"m drawing a blank. Oh, I know why, because he made so many bad movies, he made me forget the good ones. Hey, Dan, you aren't a blues singer, let it go! Am I alone here folks? Aren't you embarrassed for him when you see him on stage dressed up like Elwood Blues. Trying to hold on to something that he ruined with Blues Brothers 2000. Dan, buddy, let go.
Now that I've taken my pill, lets move on.
Bill Murray is going to be in the next Kevin Smith movie. Now, for the one or two people that read my column you may remember that I casted my "dream movie". And included was Jay and Silent Bob. Kinda freaky, I was half right..I was just wrong about the movie franchise. It should be interesting to see Bill Murray on the same screen with two pot heads. Should prove to be a good time.
Another tidbit that hit close to home was that David Duchovney has signed on to be in an Ivan Reitman movie that is described as a 21st Century version of Ghostbusters. Once again, I was half right. Maybe I'll get one completely right soon.
Speaking of David Duchovney, have you seen the new season of The X-Files? Its off the page. Its old school stuff, that we haven't seen since the first two seasons of the show. Great stuff, check it out.
I was on EBAY a few days ago, surfing used bras..I mean Ghostbusters stuff, and the prices are insane. I mean, I saw an original Ghostbusters poster on there for $70! Can you believe that crap? I can get a girlfriend for $70! Anyway, the poster was beautiful, not a blemish on it. I considered bidding on it, but then I found the poster I've been looking for forever now. The GBII teaser. Picked it up for $14. I'm sure you care, just thought I'd throw that in there.
A good friend of mine works in a mall in St.Louis, and for Halloween, all the stores had candy to give out. Well, he informed me that to his surprise he saw very few main stream costumes. What he did see was strictly old school. Anywhere from 5 to 10 Ghostbusters costumes, a few Ninja Turtles, a couple of G.I. Joes, even an Alf. And for you older people out there, even an Ash costume, chainsaw and all. Is there an underground Ghostbusters following in St.Louis? Is there a ground swell of 80's pop culture happening at the Crestwood Mall? Or was there just a clearance sale at the local costume store? The world may never know. But for story's sake, I'm going to keep telling myself that it was just a huge following. You should do the same, ignorance is bliss.
There a couple of other things I'd like to get off my chest. First of all, my Cardinals got beat in the National League Championship Series. By those lousy Mets...and the pond scum that they are. We'll get you next year, or my name isn't Luther Vandross...okay, my name isn't that, but we're still going to kick your asses!
Can you believe how much Texas gave A-Rod? I mean, can you fathom getting that much money to play a game? "Here's a quarter of a billion dollars, go play monopoly." Its retarded. Alex Rodriguez is a communist.
I caught Ghostbusters on HBO the other day, its nice to see it on pay cable. Anything other than Comedy Central. "Yes, lets put one of the greatest comedies of all time on right after Weekend at Bernie's 2."
Have you seen the new "Evil Dead: Hail to the King" video game commercial? Bruce Campbell makes a cameo. Without a doubt, the best commercial on TV right now.
Movie of the week (or however long it is before I write again):Unbreakable
Quote of the week: "There is no love in writing about love, only a deadline." -Bruce McCulloh "Kids in the hall"
Well, the nurses are saying it tapioca pudding time. This is patient Rude, signing off from the Greenleaf mental ward. If you have any comments, questions, requests, gripes, rashes, boils, recipes, escape plans, or you're just a really hot girl and want to rap, email me at BigD63026@aol.com Until next time......
The columns and editorials that appear on Ghostbusters HQ are the opinions and writings of their authors and in no way represent the beliefs or intentions of Ghostbusters Headquarters. Comments should be directed to this article's author at: BigD63026@aol.com